2009... 31/12/08

Been a great countdown. Thanx to Gerald and Shan Shan for having us. Oh! Thanx for the $100 worth of CDs too! Grateful.

As the clock struck 12, it was a totally mixed affair. Images of the past flashed through my mind as I watched the folks around me embracing one another and exhanging wishes. My mind was in a blank. Clearly, my heart wasn't there with the folks. The only one person whom I would like to share the moment with, is not there with me. All I wanted to do was to drop a line but I knew I couldn't...

As 2008 comes to an end, many truth seems to surface. Or rather, facts that I chose to be ignorant of, are coming back to haunt me. Perceptions on others have changed and they seem to be reinforced with minor daily incidents. Before I start pointing fingers at others, I shall gun myself down first.

Whatever the case is, the World still continues to revolve round the Sun. Rather than to spend time on worldly affairs, I guess it's time to deliberate and decide on this year's resolutions.

Was reading my friend's blog. Let me quote this strings of words that she said:

anyway whether or not the other person likes you, it's easy to tell.
you should know it yourself deep down.
whether or not you wanna accept it is another thing.
if you know it's not right, yet you choose to be hopeful, so be it.

more often than not, we're just willingly lying to ourselves.
deep down, we all know.

I can't agree more. What did I land myself into?

 

Water under the bridge... 30/12/08

As 2008 is coming to an end, I'm glad to have some stuff sorted out. Last year at around this time, I took the initiative to resolve some misunderstanding with a friend of mine. Although it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to, i was still glad I cleared some air with him.

Was surprised to receive a msg from him on the MSN. I even thought it was by accident but after reading the msg, I realised it was otherwise. Thought it was going to be a brief chat but it ended up into a rather long and insightful one. I'm really, really glad we had some issues settled.

One thing I have learnt; Time does heals the wounded souls.

Can you imagine a misunderstanding of such magnitude took 2 years to clear? I should be more careful not to land myself into such predicament. Nevertheless, I'm glad the ordeal is over. 

Water under the bridge...

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It happened. ETQK 

Thank you... 29/12/08

Haha... Thank you for having us. It was a nice gesture...

Simple yet totally enjoyable dinner that was...

Enjoy yourself and have a wonderful and memorable count-down. 

Cheers!

盡在不言中... 27/12/08

没想到我又回到了这个地方。。。

我想这也就是我正需要的。

还蛮厌倦都市那急处的步伐和近几天所发生的小插曲。

这突如其来的短暂解放，可真是可愈不可求。

去的人不多；少了人群中的吵杂，却多了一些些的宁静。

　但这宁静中也不忘带有一故的欢乐。 

我想这也就是和好友们一块出国的奥妙吧。

夕阳无限好，只怕近黄昏。。。 

随着各人的成长，周边的朋友也会跟着流失。。。

我想惟有记忆才是永久，永恒的。

感谢在我人生中，留下足迹的知己们。

Christmas party at Aranda Chalet... 27/12/08

Had a nice Christmas party at Aranda Chalet, a million thanx has to go to Mich for booking the place and generously, sponsored most of the booking fee.

We had BBQ and it was the first time it feel like a decent BBQ. Haha... We had so much food that most of us raised the white flag, just half-way through the spread of food. Can you imagine we had 2kg worth of minced meat for BBQ? Haha... Courtesy of Claire.

GIft exchange was great. I got a "bread" post-it as a gift. Handy gift for sure. And not forgetting the Levi's belt from Mich. Thank you!

Thanx to all for making this a nice simple Christmas party. 

It is always a great time to catch up with all the folks who I have been missing out for the past one year. Oh! I think I had too much to drink on that day too! Man! I didn't know Vodka can be so... intoxicating. I think I had too much of it. Haha... I was seriously tipsy even before the start of the game. Anyway, thanx to Jason for sending us back. I won't have survived it alone. Thank goodness no one took any photo of me when I was under the effect of the alcohol. Haha...

Cheers! (with plain water)

P.S: Shaun's dog is so cute! I love its butt! Very smoothhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Thank you! ... 26/12/08

My cell beeped at around 7:56am and the next moment, I was on the phone.

I'm glad I made the call coz after a brief discussion, it seems like I won't be going to the trip anymore. Haha... We're both contemplating over other possibilities and it seems like we managed to strike a cord somewhere other than the trip. I'm happy.

I shared with my friend what has been happening and we both agreed on how infantile the whole situation is. Had some advice from him. =)

This blog might be closed for good folks.

Happy boxing day!

The show must go on... 25/12/08

Merry Christmas to all and most of all, Happy Birthday to Yong Jie! He's the second person that I know whose birthday falls on Christmas Day itself. =)

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Been a hell of a ride. One moment I was feeling thankful for the wonderful times I spent with my friends and before I know it, I was at the rock bottom. I seriously have no explanation for it, I am really at wits-end with how the drama has spun into a soap opera. I'm using this blog entry to clear the air and from then on, I wanna try hard not to be part of the story again...

Firstly, I am sorry for causing/being the spark that caused the break-up of my friend. Though many have stood by me saying it isn't my fault, having gone through the stage of having fingers pointed at, I can't help feeling a little guilty. Be it knowingly or unknowingly, I agree that I played quite a pivotal role in the escalation of the problem back then. I probably shouldn't have done some gestures (though I deemed was appropriate) which many have said otherwise. And I have seen the aftermath of those gestures and the one important lesson I gathered; never to retrace those steps again in future. This is precisely what I am adverting. If you could just feel the magnitude of the guilt that I have been carrying on my shoulders...

Secondly, I must apologize to both parties for the sour relationship at present. If the blog issue hasn't been brought into the limelight, it would not have be blown out of proportion into its current state. We have always heard the phrase, "Honesty is the best policy". I've always held that close to my heart till I see the repercussions of being an advocate of it. On one hand, I want to be loyal (choosing to tell you about the "exclusiveness" of the blog entry) while on the other hand, I run at the risk of betraying my other friend. I was in a dilemma then and I seriously didn't know which course of action would be the right one. I went with my gut feeling based on the fact that friends should never lie/hide anything from one another... and all I got was this. And then there was this sms back before my Taiwan trip. I have no recollection what the content was but it has clearly done some colossal, irreversible damage as well. It doesn't take a genius to see that I am pretty much the bright spark for all the misunderstandings.

If it was you being placed on the guillotine, what would be your course of action? I really want your opinion on that...

As for the calling at wee hours, honestly, I'm fine with it. What I really don't understand is, why do you have to call me and tell me not to disclose it to others. I'm an open book and I guess you get what I am driving at.  I wonder if you find the situation familiar but it's really like back in those days when you would hide under your blanket to call me. Then there's also these occasional times where you would ask me to come up with excuses to... Do you find all these gestures all too familiar? I realized these were what I did back then and I know deep in my heart what will eventually result from all these be it directly or indirectly. I'm really trying hard to prevent a reoccurrence coz I don't wanna go through the same ordeal again. I'm really trying to be a good friend to listen to problems but why is it that I find myself more like a thief than someone with a listening ear? You can never imagine how it feels like to have a sms that goes, "You are the cost of our break-up. Even though I said I was fine with her calling you, I didn't mean it. Which BF would be..." From a friend to foe in the split of a second. Ya, I went through that.

I reckon it isn't easy for someone to be as jovial as I am to be taken seriously. When I am telling the truth, some will take it that I am doing otherwise. I'm really just stating the truth, whether you take it or not. I'm finding so hard to please everyone. Maybe I should start placing myself on the priority list before others.

Before you point finger at me for being disloyal as a friend, please consider the points I have stated. I'm trying my best. There are some things that I am doing for the benefit of all. You may not see it but please do not doubt my sincerity. I can't stand it when people accuse me of something that I am not guilty of. Do take a step back and reconsider. Thank you.

Anyway, this entry is written with the intention to resolve the situation in any way that it could be done. I've tried and I won't try again. I've reframed myself from posting anything on this issue till now as I always thought blog is kind of forever and the last thing that I wanna do is to stain it with such... All that I am asking is to give me a break. Thank you. Let's all grow up. 

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Anyway, seems like I might be going on my trip again...

I can't help but to feel sad. I've never been away during CNY... Not to mention I won't be having reunion dinner with my folks, not going to the temple to pray on chu2 xi1 and to call up my friends to tell them about their fortune for the coming year. 

I'm not sure what I signed up for. There and again, there's always the first time?

Christmas dinner @ Dozo... 23/12/08

I had a wonderful Christmas dinner the day before. I'm too lazy to blog about it over here. I've posted some nice photos in my facebook so feel free to take a look over there. 

A million thanx to the folks who made the meal possible and most of all, an enjoyable one.

Anyway,  I have received a really meaningful Christmas gift, courtesy of Veron. It's a little book which dates back all the memories I shared since I joined the "group". It's really heart- warming to relieve those days when I got "introduced" into the "group", via the book that is.

The gift speaks volume. Thank you!

Oh! I got a thumb-drive for my gift exchange and also a keep chain from Felicia! And not forgetting the vest from the ladies (I shall not address them as gals from now on) too. Haha...

It's a really wonderful Christmas this far...

I'm thankful to know new friends and also, getting to know them better as days go by. =)

Merry Christmas to all! CHeers!

It was a great dinner... 22/12/08

Had a rather impromptu dinner appointment. Didn't really expect us to meet but I was glad that we did.

Was in town to run some errand and the unexpected, happened. A nice coffee session with my folks.

Had a rather sumptuous or should I say simple dinner at some Indonesian restaurant at Lucky Plaza. I settled for chicken noodle while my friend had some roasted chicken rice. Apparently, my friend's penchant for chilli does scare me a little, considering the amount of red chilli he consumed. Ha... Oh! We shared a bowl of oxtail soup too. Hope I didn't pass my friend my super resilient flu virus in the process.

Thereafter, had some light dessert at a stall beside Mango along Shaw Tower. Prices were kind of steep for some nicely decorated chocolate but I guess the company made up for it. In summary, it was a pleasant and enjoyable impromptu dinner.

Haha... Had a go with red wine with the girls in white too. Hym... I should have more wine tasting sessions to really appreciate the process. Still, it was a great start.

I'm grateful for everything, including...

 

NO more... 21/12/08

Sad...

Not going on a short trip during CNY...

Sianz...

CAPE No. 7... 17/12/08

Went to watch Cape No 7 with the folks at Cine. Wanted to catch the show a few days ago but it seemed like there's not many cinemas that are screening. In fact, the only that I can gather is "The Cathay."

Honestly, I was pretty lost at the beginning of the show, especially with much of the dialogues in Japanese and in Hokkien(Taiwanese style). But I was glad I stayed awake through the show as I managed to piece together a much better picture as the story unfolded. I must say there are alot of different plots intertwined together:

1. 阿嘉（范逸臣  飾演）and 友子 (田中千繪  飾演)

Ah Gan was a devastated lead singer whom almost gave up singing after failing to strike fame in Taipei after a grueling 15 years of trying. And what followed soon after he returned to his hometown was this sporadic chemistry with the Tomogo. Kind of interesting to see how the spark of romance is developed between the two loggerheads. And the most most touching scene from the show would be when Ah Gan embraced TOmogo at the beach prior to the performance where he asked Tomogo not to leave or he'll leave with her. Sweet!

What I learnt from this is perhaps the need to not give up in times of failure. Just as like Ah Gan as shown, life is tough and you might not achieve what you desire or endeavor to achieve despite giving your very best. But as long as you never give up, opportunities do come by.

Another thing is that love/romance may come knocking when we are least expected. Ha... Ah Gan and Tomogo surely do not seem like the perfect couple at the start of the show; communication problem and conflict of their personalities... But they have surely broken the wall of separation between them. I reckon all it takes at times, maybe a little initiative.

2. 水蛙（夾子小應  飾演） and 老闆娘 (佩甄 飾演)

I can't say I totally agree with Frog on his rather twisted philosophy on the mating of frogs and how he manage to disillusioned himself into thinking that it is actually okay even when applied on the human context. Ha... Still I do admire his deep devotion for his boss' wife. Kind of rare, especially in present times where affection seems to be just skin-deep (Maybe this is more of my own personal problem. Ha...).

3. 勞馬（民雄  飾演）

Speaking of devotion, I guess the epitome would definitely be the traffic policeman. His love for his wife is undoubted. It is kind of sad to know that his wife left him when he placed career over his family. What really saddens me is the fact that despite him repenting after his wrongs, his wife is no where to be found.

The lesson learnt would be to cherish what we have and not to regret only after we have lost what is in fact most precious and dear to us.

4. 馬拉桑（馬念先  飾演）

Oh! There is  Ma La Song! Haha... I really admire his never-say-die attitude. Despite repeated rejections, he has never given up. I should really from him!

5. 日籍教師／歌手（中 孝介飾演）and 台籍友子（梁文音 飾演）

Well, how can I ever miss out the main characters which this story is based on. The divine love between the Japanese teacher and the Taiwanese lady. I was really confused to see scenes from the past being inserted into the present days and this was aggravated by the many Japanese dialogues. I missed out the starting few subtitles and was glad to at least comprehend much of it as the story developed. 

Sometimes we wait a lifetime waiting for some answers to our burning questions. If the answers are given in time, the outcome could have been different. 

There's also Shino and her daughter which I can't quite able to rack up anything about. Ha... Perhaps I''m feeling the ZZzz monster already.

Anyway, I love the film, how it manages to incorporate so many different side stories into one. Well, though I would to see more ... scenes between Ah Gan and Tomogo. Haha...

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Oh! I had an expensive dinner too! $41 per pax! I need to watch my expenses or I can forget about my Christmas dinners next week. Comparing this year to last's, I have clearly spent much more. Haiz...

Haha... After much consideration, I reckon there shall be no door gift. I'm dead broke. So sorry about that. =(

I reckon my plan for this year's countdown, is not to have any plan at all. If only I can have more time with... The differences are popping up every now and then... It's becoming more of a struggle.

Whatever the case is, make merry in the days to come before the start of next year! Cheers!

Caffeine a day, keeps e doctor at bay... 16/12/08

Thanx for the company. It was short, brief, spontaneous and totally random.

I need to collect myself.

I'm beginning to enjoy hot coffee. 

I feel helpless...

I would like to borrow a shoulder to cry on...

Yes, you heard me, a shoulder to cry on...

If you could just feel the magnitude of it...

Break, Broke and Broken... 16/12/08

I was feeling the breaking of heart...

Now I'm broke....

And finally, it has been broken...

(trust:money:friendship)

Socialization... 15/12/08

Enculturation (or commonly known as Socialization) is essentially a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position. (courtesy of Dictionary.com)

Was reading today's papers and I happened to come across an article on Rui En. There's always this topic that revolves around her; on how stoic and unconventional she is as compared to other artists. 

After reading the article about her, I have a new-found passion and perhaps even admiration for her. Apparently she came from a troubled background where both her folks were always at loggerheads. And her only avenue for venting her bottled feelings was to, "hang out with the kind of people I shouldn't have hung out with, I was probably trying, in my own ridiculous way, to annoy my parents because I wanted attention."

I must agree that who we are today, is the result of how our socialization processes are done and from the above case study, the family plays a pivotal role. SO perhaps before we point fingers at some of our folks around us, condemning how their actions are so unconventional and non-conforming, we should factor this into our consideration before making any judgements.

Anyway, I finally had some quality time alone. Lazing around, having my dose of caffeine in the afternoon and watching the World goes round me was simply what I needed most. 

 

The "List", revisited... 15/12/08

The "List",

1. Sleep...

2. Play MJ for 2 days in a row... (ACCOMPLISHED)

3. Buy new clothes...  (ACCOMPLISHED)

4. Buy christmas gifts for my folks...  (ACCOMPLISHED)

5. Meet my "friend" cum "stranger"... (ACCOMPLISHED)

6. Plan for Mich's Christmas party...  (ACCOMPLISHED)

7. Go on a short tour with a friend...

8. Consult a ... (ACCOMPLISHED)

9. Pack my room...

10.Beef up...

Seems like I have finished some of the things that I set out to achieve. So I added a couple more. Guess I'll probably not be able to finish all but being able to finish half of them is better than none. 

Anyway, I was like searching frantically for an airtkt to er... Anywhere. Was checking out Jet* and AirAsia. If I can just splurge, I would just book and go. Ha... Guess No. 7 will never materialize. 

*Hungry* Good sign!

First impression... 15/12/08

Was watching Discovery channel not long ago and it struck me that I forgot to pen this down when I was blogging earlier on. And as I'm someone who can't wait to get something off my chest, here I am.

Anyway, heard a rather disturbing remark from a friend of mine. Or rather, from a friend's sister. I was said to be "pretentious, faking an English accent." It really shouldn't bother me much but somehow I just don't seem to swallow it and after a brief moment of pondering, I figured out the reason to it; probably because I didn't feel guilty of the indictment I was presented with. I have this really bad habit of not letting myself be pinpointed with an accusation even if it is meant in a casual manner. My principle is that if I'm not guilty of it, I will not carry the blame/allegation w/o a fight(verbal one that is). I should really work on it.

Honestly, I'm quite used to people criticizing me (especially on how I manage to be the laughing stock with my more than "perfect" Chinese enunciation) since often than none, they are meant for my own good. And with regards to my accent, it is definitely not the first. I can still remember... "Engineers are mostly cheee na... Are you faking an accent?" Of cause after a couple of more interactions, the latter apologized and took back his words. Perhaps my first impression that comes across to the other party is that I am someone who is trying to fake an accent.

Well, I would take the comment whole-heartedly if I really did put in an effort in doing so. But to my knowledge, I didn't. It might suggest that I have been doing it so ritually that it has become part of me. Maybe it's time to re-access the way I talk to people. Haiz...

Somehow, I feel that there's this imprint that is embodied in the mainframes of some; a preset ideas/models on how people are and how they would behave. And when there exists a misalignment between the two, judgement values are passed. I shan't elaborate.

Still, I do appreciate the honest feedback. Cheers!

Perhaps that's the reason why I need to have sometime alone. "Familiarity breeds contempt."

"The day Keith Stood Still"... 14/12/08

I've finally watched the show which I wished to. The pact was made long before my exams started and I am glad it materialized. Though the show was kind of draggy, sci-fic shows never fail to intrigue me still. Can't quite say so for my friend who seemed to be trying really hard to stay awake. Haha...

Btw, I have my first Christmas present! Was anticipating  how it would look like, especially after knowing way before hand what it is. Well, it is really the thought that counts and I'm glad the gift is such. It's heart-warming to know that someone whom you are not so closely acquainted with, knows what you want. So much so for best friends ya?!

Anyway, the dinner which followed after the show was, well, okay. Had some japanese ramen at Gallery Hotel. It was a small shop that sells pretty tasty ramen; delicious concoctions of corns, bean sprouts etc... The drink which followed was much better. I'm glad how things have changed. Remember how I use to say Uncle Harri is so reticent and how he has transformed?! Ha... I'm seeing another example to that. Glad to know more about my friend's family etc...

Ended my day around 12 plus and I guess the extra dose of C₂H₅OH in some has clearly... In summary, I had a great day and it's going to be a while...

Oh! I have been catching up on my MJ too. Been losing for the past few days but it really doesn't matter coz, it's the company that matters (I'm trying to console myself). Ah! I got to drive Honda Stream today courtesy of Veron's Bro. I must say it's really a nice car. But it's even more heart-warming to know that someone trust you well enough to drive his/hers vehicle. I appreciate that though it might seem like a really minute gesture.

Just realized how times seem to fly and Christmas is really round the corner. What I want for Christmas? A healthy body and perhaps a hug from the one I like...

Feverella... 13/12/08

I believe most of us would have heard of "CInderella", the mistreated and impoverished gal, whom got happily married to a handsome prince and lived happily ever after...

Apart from the happy ending, there are a couple of other iconic stuffs like the pair of glass slipper, the pumpkin carriage, and Cinderella having to return home before the strike of midnight.

Hym... I think I can be Feverella in a certain way. As the hour hand strikes twelve midnight, I will mysteriously "flare--up" and my whole body will get really weak. My head feels high, legs feel weak, and I can't think straight (definitely so as I 杂胡-ed over last night's MJ session).

Whatever the case is, I hope I can find the remedy to the spell of sickness soon...

To the folks, thanx for the sms-es. I feel loved. =)

Another long day... 11/12/08

Yup! The labels have clearly said it all. I did some more irreversible damage to my little black wallet of mine once again... I am almost done with my Christmas shopping; less Veron's present that is. It is definitely an arduous task to undertake. I have no clue what she wants. Ha... SO much so for being close friends ya?!

Anyway, this year is really not like the previous years, at least to me. Tight budget so don't expect any fancy gifts from me ya? By the way, my presents for this year seem to revolve around the "wellness" theme. One thing that I have gathered, "Health is something that money cannot buy. So treasure it before you lose it..."

Anyway, the day's worth of walking was clearly way too much for me to take. I really appreciate the drink of hot coffee at some cafe at the end of the day.

I'm not really a fan of coffee but this hot cafe mocha is quite refreshing, though I know my stomach can hardly handle the shots of caffeine and my retribution is in due time...

Nowadays, I just wanna have a cup of drink and laze around at some cafe... I remember telling a friend of mine that I wanna sit at the Coffee Bean @ Millennium Walk read the papers and "waste" my afternoon away. Well, as usual, I have yet to accomplished that. Haiz...

 

I have no idea whose great idea it was but we soon found ourselves filling one another's nails. Ya! Including me as well... FREAK!

Manicurist inspired-to-be.

Manicurist working on customer #1.

Manicurist working on customer #2. Just look at Veron. She was clearly indulged in the moment of Tai Tai-hood.

Just look that the difference between the nails! 

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*Yawn* I feel kind of jaded. Heard of the saying, "Birds of the feather flock together?" I totally feel for it now. Received a pretty curt and blunt sms asking me how much I invested in his present. Haha... Well, I was alittle dumbfounded coz candidness is something I appreciate but don't you think that was a little overboard? Haha... Well, taking a step back, I reckoned that I was pretty much like that in the first place. Haha... I should really learn to look beyond the monetary value attached to things. 

Anyway, I have developed a whole new meaning to "Visa application". What was meant to facilitate, ended up creating tonnes of inconvenience. The worst was  that it not only involved myself, but the helps of others too. A million thanx to these unsung heroes. (And my Mum just left my room after talking nothing but the accommodation for ...) That was probably the last thing I wanna hear or gain knowledge on. Oh ya! I forgot to mention the first message I got from MSN was "这么晚还没睡？" *Just give me a break* It surely fesls like a plague that has inflicted me since the start of my final examinations... I was seriously on the brink of tears!!! Just get lost for one second, PLEASE...

Okay! SO much so for my endless ranting. I need to register myself into some anger management class. 

To all my readers, thanx for reading my load of grumbles. This is pretty much my only avenue for venting all my angers, worries... I think I can't handle too much of the "secrets" that I have bottled inside myself. 

Iligi Wagala criligi...

Long day out... 10/12/08

I finally brought Joshua and Kaiyi out for a movie. Haha... Can't believe we actually settled for "Beverly Hills Chihuahua". Anyway, it was quite a nice show, a no brainer that is.  Been a while since I last saw the kids so I reckoned it was quite a great get-together too. ANd, million thanx goes to the folks for tagging along despite knowing that we're gonna watch "some" dogs for almost 1.5 hrs. Ha...

Oh! As you would have gathered from the pictures by now, I have bought some gifts! Did some serious collateral damage to my puny wallet and my legs. I think the hole is comparable to the Black Hole. And guess what, it will only get bigger... I shall try to finish my Christmas shopping by tomorrow as I figure that I have other more important things on hand to attend to. Well, I really hope my folks will appreciate what I have gotten or going to get for them. =) Somehow, this year is much different to the previous years. I kind of yearn for some quiet times alone than the usual "Big Bang".

Anyway, this week has been quite a wreck; having some serious bowel problems (on-going still), FYP presentation, insomnia, lost of appetite... So many things seem to be happening at the same time and the only thing I need is, some private time alone. I think my threshold is almost at its limit.

Well, I jumped on the weighing scale not long ago and it registered a scale of 57.0Kg. *faint* It's happening again. I seriously, honestly... miss Hitachi (if you could understand what that means). 

By the way, I'm really looking forward to watching... 

Nothing gets me more intrigued than Sci-fic shows... I hope it would not be too long a wait... Ha...

leg affair... 05/12/08

I have never really understood why my friends always complain how fast I walk and end up leaving them walking, trailing behind me. Well, I have had my first hand experience on how it was to be like tracing someone else's footsteps.

I shall make a conscious effort to walk more slowly in future when I am with my folks. =)

It's over, so over... 05/12/08

It's over, so over...

It was an interesting night out. It is always nice to be driven around. Haha...

ANyway, like the title itself, "It's over, so over"...