Monday, December 15, 2008

First impression... 15/12/08

Was watching Discovery channel not long ago and it struck me that I forgot to pen this down when I was blogging earlier on. And as I'm someone who can't wait to get something off my chest, here I am.

Anyway, heard a rather disturbing remark from a friend of mine. Or rather, from a friend's sister. I was said to be "pretentious, faking an English accent." It really shouldn't bother me much but somehow I just don't seem to swallow it and after a brief moment of pondering, I figured out the reason to it; probably because I didn't feel guilty of the indictment I was presented with. I have this really bad habit of not letting myself be pinpointed with an accusation even if it is meant in a casual manner. My principle is that if I'm not guilty of it, I will not carry the blame/allegation w/o a fight(verbal one that is). I should really work on it.

Honestly, I'm quite used to people criticizing me (especially on how I manage to be the laughing stock with my more than "perfect" Chinese enunciation) since often than none, they are meant for my own good. And with regards to my accent, it is definitely not the first. I can still remember... "Engineers are mostly cheee na... Are you faking an accent?" Of cause after a couple of more interactions, the latter apologized and took back his words. Perhaps my first impression that comes across to the other party is that I am someone who is trying to fake an accent.

Well, I would take the comment whole-heartedly if I really did put in an effort in doing so. But to my knowledge, I didn't. It might suggest that I have been doing it so ritually that it has become part of me. Maybe it's time to re-access the way I talk to people. Haiz...

Somehow, I feel that there's this imprint that is embodied in the mainframes of some; a preset ideas/models on how people are and how they would behave. And when there exists a misalignment between the two, judgement values are passed. I shan't elaborate.

Still, I do appreciate the honest feedback. Cheers!

Perhaps that's the reason why I need to have sometime alone. "Familiarity breeds contempt."

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